Fighting The Past

Past Biting Me In The Arse Again

Michelle my ex girlfriend contacted me again today wanting me to get her stuff to her. Just when I thought I wouldn’t hear from her again. It’s so difficult to hear from her - I am not over what happened yet and the wounds aren’t completely healed.

I am not in Cape Town at the moment and I won’t be for the next 10 months. I have left her stuff at my mom’s place and told her she can go fetch it anytime she wants, but she still insists that I bring it to her. It is not fair on me she knows that I am still not over her but yet she still expects me to do things for her.

She had moved on one month after she left me with one of my friends they finalised it 2 months after she left me by making it public on facebook. They were together for 2 months before I found out and in that time I still carried around so much hope that we could still work our issues out and try again because I still believed that what we had was special.

To carry around hope is to hold onto pain

When she left me I had only one request – let me know when you have moved on – that’s all I wanted her to do for me. She chose to hide the fact that she had moved on which makes it even more painful and decieving.

I remember one of her posts soon after our break up saying how liberated she felt to be single again and how much fun she was having being a single women. But yet it took her only one month to get back into a relationship again with someone I knew.

 I must of meant nothing to her, crazy shit and yes it still hurts like a bitch thinking that way but it’s getting better although some days are naturally tougher than others, like today. I texted her to tell her to please stop contacting me about her things and just to break contact all together,  let’s hope it sticks this time. I can’t keep being reminded about her. 

I want her to be happy and I also want to be happy.